It’s the day after Valentine’s Day, and I thought what better time to open up a discussion on a topic with the most popular/unpopular opinions: Relationship Finances.
At least in mainstream culture, the popular opinion is that a couple split all expenses straight down the middle, which is essentially what roommates do. The unpopular opinion, (again, in mainstream culture) is that the “man” of the relationship pay all expenses, while the woman either keeps house and/OR sits there and looks pretty.
Let me say this: Do what works for you.
However, here’s my opinion:
We don’t split, we delegate. What is a relationship if not a partnership? Partnership does not literally mean 50/50. Partnership means evaluating individual strengths, pairing them with common future goals, then executing daily action for the common good.
The common good = the house.
Simply, if one person is always cooking, naturally running the kitchen without objection from their partner, that qualifies as a strength. It’s something they bring to the table that benefits the house, and some sort of value exchange should be placed on that. Meaning, the other partner should bring something to the table that is equal or greater to that strength. Plug in any task or role you’d like into this scenario, the concept still remains.
Man pays rent/mortgage and maintains car expenses (assuming one car household). Woman pays utilities and groceries and keeps house (cooks/cleans).
This is an example of partnership. 50/50, not in the literal sense of splitting all obligations down the middle, but in the sense that the effort of both parties are very close to equal in their respective roles.
The addition of children changes the dynamic of course. That’s up to you and your partner to decide who does what. But both man and woman doing the same daily tasks equally, I don’t believe that’s what nature intended, no matter how our society has evolved. That’s a topic for another day, maybe even another dimension.
Actually, I found this article to be pretty well put: Debunking the Myth of the 50-50 Marriage
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